Arielle Fischer, features editor
José Reyes, asst. features editor
On many college campuses, the phrase “ring by spring” gets passed around among students. This phrase is coined to poke fun at undergraduates who have gotten engaged or married before they graduate college. For some students, ring by spring is a silly joke that goes no deeper than a quick tease, but for others, the phrase holds a negative connotation, feeling derogatory or judgmental. Engaged and married undergraduates across Berry weighed in on their thoughts about ring by spring, along with the joys, hardships and surprises of falling in love at a young age.
Haley and Bryon
Haley Ewald, senior, got engaged to Bryon Schirner (21C) on Nov. 13, 2020, at Berry. According to Ewald, Schirner took her to a picnic and sunset watching date at their favorite spot on Mountain Campus, where he bent down on one knee to propose. Having known each other since preschool, the two started dating during high school and carried on into college.
“It’s unique to find such a strong love at a young age,” Ewald said. “It’s been amazing because we’ve gotten to grow alongside each other. I’m not the same person I was when we started dating five years ago and neither is he. I think being able to grow up together, evolve together and go through both the hard and good times together is something that bonds you. When you’re at your worst and somebody still tries to bring out the best in you, that’s when you know that person is special.”
Ewald says that the biggest pressure of being engaged young is the social oppression around them, not the tension or naiveness of the couple themselves. According to Ewald, today’s culture doesn’t take relationships seriously unless people are married despite how long a couple has been together. She said that to defy social pressure, couples should not try to conform to others’ expectations or look too hard into other people’s relationships, instead they must focus on what is best for their own relationship.
When asked about her thoughts on the phrases ring by spring, Ewald said the phrase is condemning and immature.
“I have a very negative connotation with ring by spring,” Ewald said. “It sounds more like a timeline or checklist, rather than the natural progression of events. I think it’s a silly phrase that pressures people into thinking they must adhere to the social clock around them, especially somewhere like Berry. Ring by spring sounds more like an obligation for couples rather than an opportunity.”
Ewald continued to say that through the busyness of college, it is important for her and Schirner to have at least one date night a week, no matter what the circumstances are in school or life. She says this brings them together in a way that they can keep their relationship going strong. According to Ewald, the moment people stop looking for love is often the moment they find it. She encourages people to embrace those around them and enjoy the present, without rushing through life, especially when it comes to relationships.
Lily and Phillip
Senior Lily Watson married Berry graduate Phillip Alexander (20C) on Dec. 18, 2021, exactly one year after they were engaged. Watson says the two met through the rowing team, while Alexander was at Berry, but grew close through his chemistry tutoring.
“I was super surprised when he proposed,” Watson said. “My parents were very supportive. Our wedding was small and cost-effective, but it was very intimate. While everything was stressful, it was also fun because we got to celebrate a huge moment with our friends. He proposed on my parent’s porch, which was very significant for us. Since we started dating in February 2020, and Berry shut down in March, he was really reassuring that we would make our relationship work. He would drive up to my parent’s house and we would sit on this porch swing and talk about our lives and relationship. So, when he proposed on that porch it was meaningful and special for us.”
Watson said that the two chose to get married before her graduation for several reasons. Because of Watson’s job search, Alexander’s graduate studies and their spiritual beliefs, they decided it would be best to get married over winter break, choosing the date of their wedding in remembrance of their engagement. However, according to Watson, she will not be changing her last name until this summer, as she is the first Watson from her family to graduate from college, giving her maiden name personal significance on her diploma. Aside from education, Watson mentioned some benefits of getting married at an early age.
“It’s really nice to have a companion during this stage of our lives,” Watson said. “There are a lot of uncertainties and things to figure out at this age, so it’s great to have someone you can ask both personal questions and life questions to.”
Watson says that getting married young stirred up confusion in her family. Watson recalled some family members thought she wouldn’t take college seriously or would drop out because of her choice to get married, however she did just the opposite. According to Watson, she not only wanted to complete her education, but also wanted to solidify her commitment to Alexander. She also said the phrase ring by spring feels more like a joke than a derogatory remark. Watson emphasized that to defy people’s expectations and judgment on getting married young, people cannot care about what the world thinks of them, for if the people you love support you, then nobody else’s opinion matters.
Noah and Faythe
Noah Isherwood, senior, got engaged to Faythe Choate (21C) on Oct. 15, 2021, at Victory Lake on Berry’s campus. Victory Lake was one of the first spots where Isherwood and Choate spent a considerable amount of time together, so it was a special spot from the beginning.
The two met their freshman year at Berry, though mutual friends. However, it was not until later, the summer after their sophomore year, when they started to spend more time together. Berry was the place where the couple met and is now the place where they plan to get married.
“She really likes Frost Chapel and I really like College Chapel and we were sort of split and then we decided we should go for the third option and do Barnwell,” Isherwood said.
He explained that his intentions, like Choate’s, were not originally set on graduating with a fiancé. Regardless, Isherwood said that in life everything works out, especially if you find a person who shares the same passions. For him, it has made everything easier, as he has someone who he has been able to journey alongside with.
Isherwood explained that the experiences that he and Choate have shared together at this age are connections that will strengthen their future.
“If you met someone at 35 and you have a different career and they have a completely different career, it’s a lot different,” Isherwood said. “Whereas now you’re still building foundations, and if you can build foundations together then, in my mind, that’s a lot easier than building connections with somebody who’s foundations are built separately.”
While college students could find love at this age, Isherwood said that it is not something that one has to find just because others have done so. He explained that finding love is not something that should come from feeling pressured to fit into a mold. According to Isherwood, finding love at a young age is not an occurrence that has to happen to everybody or that will happen to everybody. He said it is important for students to take that pressure off themselves.
For Isherwood, the phrase ring by spring is funny and he said it does not apply to the engagements of seniors at Berry. Instead, the phrase, for him, is most applicable to engagements that come out of the freshman or sophomore year of college.