Rachel Hartdegen, Campus Carrier staff writer
As a society, we revel in hypocrisy. This hypocrisy is present in many aspects of our lives. We argue against violence and crime, but we are the first ones in line at the premier of “John Wick 3”. We are the first to tell our best friend to break up with their toxic partner, but we cling to relationships that should have ended long ago. This hypocrisy is in every one of us because we’re human.
I will never be the first to admit that I am a hypocrite, but I am. As an RA, my job is giving advice and being there for my girls and I love it. I love giving advice and giving people support, but I do not practice what I preach. I love validating others’ emotions, but I also love to tell myself to stop being so sensitive. I can tell someone exactly how to have that hard conversation, but I agonize over the conversations I have. I ask my girls to be honest when I ask them how they are, but I always tell them I’m fine.
My entire life I have felt that if I breathe too heavily the world may crumble around me, so I hold my breath. I tell everyone else how to live their lives while I hide under my covers. Hypocrisy comes naturally to me and it has even become a tool I keep at the ready. It is easy to give others the benefit of the doubt while holding myself up to unreachable heights. If I am a hypocrite then I never have to truly live life and that’s easy. With all my advice and all of my good wishes I can hide and let life run past me, but that’s boring.
Living life behind this visor I have adorned has been easy and this is a visor many of us wear. By focusing on the people around us we give all of our love away and don’t keep any for ourselves. With this mentality we only hurt ourselves. Love and support shouldn’t just go to those around you, but it should also be given to yourself.
As Berry students we experience this hypocrisy more than others. Service is in our mission, so we know how to give to others. It’s giving to ourselves that’s impossible.
Now as I write this I realize I am falling deeper into hypocrisy and I am even growing weary of the word, but I am also weary of living behind this curtain. So much of life is missed when you’re holding your breath. I think it’s time to breathe and it only takes a few seconds.
Sometimes it feels like all your decisions are to benefit those around you, so change the narrative. Change happens with one choice and one moment. So take that moment. Celebrate your successes and mourn your missed opportunities. Get mad, be loud, have fun. Feel because we only have one life and its not worth living this one behind closed doors. Don’t waste time trying to please others, live for yourself and take in everything around you.