Bradynn Belcher, Campus Carrier asst. sports editor
Fanny packs are ugly. I am (not) sorry, but someone has to say it.
Before I make people upset by my claim, I must tell you all that I too fell victim to the fanny pack fad. I bought one for convenience, and I wore it proudly. Around my waist, across my chest, hanging from my arm, the options were endless.
The fanny pack proves that ugly fashion is, if not aesthetic, practical.
I am not a fashion guru. When I wake up in the morning, I may as well have chosen my outfit for the day with the lights off and my eyes closed. I like comfort. I do not follow fashion influencers or watch any of the New York or Paris fashion weeks.
I feel as though my lack of fashion sense makes me even more qualified to slander the fanny pack because I do not care about brands or aesthetics. If something looks good, I’ll tell you. The fanny pack is not something I will ever compliment someone for wearing.
I will provide you with four reasons as to why I think fanny packs are monstrosities that should be taken off of shelves immediately.
- Fanny packs irritate your skin.
In the summer, I love to wear crop tops or tank tops. When I religiously wore a fanny pack, I defaulted towards the cross-body style. On numerous occasions, I would wear a racerback-cropped top with my fanny pack. After a long day running errands or simply going on a walk in the hot, sweat causing sun, my skin would become incredibly irritated by the shifting of my fanny pack. I know what you are thinking, “Bradynn, just wear it around your waist.” I had that thought too. Like any consumer, I gave myself the benefit of the doubt and next time, I went outside with my fanny pack around my waste. To my dismay, I had to buy lotion to soothe my shoulder and my waistline due to the irritation my fanny pack caused. I like being able to have a safe place to store my possessions when I am out and about, but not enough to where I compromise the integrity of my skin.
- I cannot fit everything I need.
I would not call myself an over-packer, but if you were in the dining hall and suddenly needed a first aid kit or extra shoelaces, I am your girl. With that being said, a fanny pack cannot begin to house all of the things I need on a daily basis. Looking in my tote bag right now, I have my wallet, a tennis ball, a 32-ounce water bottle, a case of Tylenol, a notebook, a charger, three lip sticks and of course, a pair of socks. I am going to stop listing off every item in my bag because if I was to go on further, which I could, that would be too embarrassing. Anyway, there is no chance I would be able to fit all of these things into a fanny pack. And no, I am not willing to compromise any of these items. If I suddenly ran into a dog and did not have my tennis ball, what in the world would I do?
- An eight year old told me I looked like I was wearing a bib.
I do not really have anything to add to this one, except that kids tell it like it is. If you want to be humbled, wear your fanny pack across your chest and talk to an eight year old.
- They are entirely too expensive.
Lululemon is selling fanny packs from $38 to $68. The lowest price that I saw from sellers with more than three-star reviews was $26. As a college student who makes $9 an hour, I would have to think long and hard about dropping $58 on a glorified bag.
Fanny packs are a style that should have stayed in the 1980’s with the bright colored leg warmers and workout suits. On a side note, I have a fanny pack that I am selling if anyone is interested!