Bear Luke, Campus Carrier photographer
How likely is it that you have a name or nickname that differs from the one you were given at birth? There is a high possibility that you do, as nicknames have been prevalent among various people and societies since humanity’s inception.
Now, imagine if whatever name you prefer was just ignored. This is a problem many have faced within our society, where someone, whether for convenience, ignorance or aggression, calls someone else a name they don’t identify with.
I bring this up because there’s a likelihood that many of you have faced this scenario. Nicknames or chosen names hold special value for the individual, and ignoring them hurts the identity of that individual. As such, I would like to highlight why we should identify everyone properly. Through this act, everyone will feel more included and respected by society.
To understand the importance of nicknames, we must understand why we use names in the first place. The function of names — other than identifying someone — is to help individuals form unity, personalization and communication among each other, especially in family and friend groups. This nature of names highlights why nicknames or names people choose for themselves hold even more power than the names people were given at birth. If someone identifies themself through such names, then it is their own person labeling themself, their own means of individualization and communication with society.
All names, whether self-given or not, have a story behind them. These stories are why if one were to ignore someone’s nickname, they would not only create unnecessary tension but also disrespect that person’s history and memories.
I have experienced this myself. My nickname is Bear, and my real name is Daniel. I have had multiple teachers across my life refer to me as Daniel despite my insistence that they call me Bear. The reason I am called Bear is that I am the third Daniel in my family. To differentiate ourselves from each other, my grandfather, father and I have our own nicknames. I was also given the nickname because it was seen as something to be proud of within my family.
So, whenever my teachers would refer to me as Daniel, it felt like my identity was being ignored for the sake of their convenience. This, as you can imagine, also made my initial relationship with them unstable. I’d argue that some of you have experienced worse circumstances than I have, specifically when it comes to deadnaming, but this was my personal experience with it.
Deadnaming is a common problem for many transgender and gender-nonconforming people. It’s a form of oppression that uses a person’s past name to harm individual identity. Like nicknames, the names transgender, non-binary and gender-nonconfroming people adopt are ways for one to reclaim their own identity and empower themself, with some reinventing their name to claim it for themself rather than it being used as an epithet against them.
Like ignoring nicknames, the act of deadnaming should be corrected, because it can lead to an undermining of identity.
With all of this said, we must ask, why do some people ignore nicknames entirely? Well, our brains activate when we hear a name. We use names to attach specific concepts and ideas to people, so whenever we hear a name for the first time, our brains connect that name with that person.
However, that does not justify the improper identification of people. Just because we associate a name with a person at first does not mean that association can’t be fixed or recoded. The brain is always capable of correcting particular habits. Plus, no matter initial perceptions or biases, identifying people by what they wish to be called allows for better communication and relationships.
We must try to learn what someone wants to be called and remember to respect their name. Ignoring someone’s preferred name is an easy and lazy way to disrespect their identity. However, trying to respect and appreciate other people’s identities, though difficult sometimes, is rewarding for everyone.