It feels like the oldest question in the book. One we likely asked ourselves in kindergarten and again in sixth grade. As adults, the answer should be obvious to us: yes, boys and girls can be friends. There are some people – some adults, that is – that seem to think this is not the case, though. And if you are wondering if that is a dig at Andrew Tate, it absolutely is. 

            The mindset that people of opposite genders can’t be friends is ridiculous and immature. It would be nice to think that we all outgrew that idea after elementary school, but unfortunately, there are adults on the internet proving that statement otherwise. Figures like Andrew Tate and those “podcast bro” stereotypes on Tik Tok love to claim that men and women can’t be friends because it will always turn into something romantic – it’s just human nature. 

            It is not about hormones or having an alpha mindset, though. You can be friends with whomever you want, no matter their gender. By the time you get to college, no one is forcing you to be friends with someone you don’t want to hang around; therefore, if you don’t want to be friends with someone of the opposite gender, surprise, you don’t have to. That does not mean that the same applies for everyone else, though, so let’s stop pretending like it does.

            One of the prevailing arguments for the idea that boys and girls cannot be friends is that the relationship always turns into something more. First and foremost, that is simply not true. Being friends with someone does not mean that you are without a doubt going to develop romantic feelings for them at any point. Sometimes, a friend is just a friend, and that’s the end of it. Secondly, if we are going to pretend that this has any bit of truth to it, we would have to start worrying about our same-gendered friendships, too. Two girls can develop romantic feelings for each other, so does the same rule apply to a friendship between them? 

            This also perpetuates the idea that people who are in a romantic relationship cannot be friends with other people of the opposite gender because there might be something more going on there. If you are that worried about your partner cheating on you, though, the issue lies in your relationship with them, not their friendship with someone else. 

            We also see this strange twist on this idea that even if the girl does not have feelings for the boy she is friends with, the boy will always be attracted to her. Andrew Tate, for example, loves to claim that men should not be friends with women because the women are wasting their time by not being interested in them romantically; therefore, the relationship isn’t worth anything. The woman is supposedly leeching off of the man for emotional support and treating him like a boyfriend without the benefits. 

            What he fails to realize here is that is the definition of friendship, no matter the gender of the people involved. You are there to support your friend, and they do not owe you any kind of romantic “benefits” by doing the bare minimum of being a friend. Leaning on a friend for support is not “wasting their time,” it’s part of what they are there for. Who cares if they are a boy or a girl?

All quips aside, you should be friends with whoever you want, no matter their gender. Don’t let some ignorant 20-year-old business bro on the internet tell you that you can’t be friends with someone else just because you’re a girl and he’s a boy. We’re all hopefully beyond our “eww boys/girls are icky” stage from kindergarten, so be friends with who you want and just ignore the people who try to tell you otherwise.